Tuesday, my mid-life crisis reached Code Blue status as I boarded a plane for Denver to check out a vintage camper I’d seen on-line. Yes, you heard me right. A vintage camper.
Who am I you ask? I can’t honestly answer that anymore. For example, it wasn’t until I was all the way through airport security before I realized I’d walked on the floor with bare feet. Can you imagine? BARE FEET!
This mid-life crisis is pulling me forward, out of my rut, faster than I can think, because here I was with $5,000 cash in my purse ready to drive up to a remote cabin to meet a strange man to buy a 1955 Aljoa camper. Sounds like the beginning of a bad slasher movie doesn’t it?
Reason returned to me before I boarded the plane and I made arrangement to meet him at a storage facility on edge of town. Except then I realized he could kill me, stuff me in the camper and store me away for eternity.
I walked down the aisle of the plane in a stupor, wondering again who I was and what I was doing. I came across an entire row of empty seats and climbed over to the window. A little towheaded face popped up from the seat in front of me.
“Peek-A-Boo,” she shouted before disappearing.
I was pretty sure I’d figured out why this row was empty. The piercing scream that made my ear drums vibrate in pain, confirmed my conclusion.
The little girl emerged again. I grinned and waved at her. Most people are turned away by a screaming child, but not me. In complete contradiction to my OCD ways, I gravitate toward them like a fly to honey. I love kids and everything about them. From their chubby toes to their drooling mouths. I mean, who wouldn’t smile when a two-year-old looks you in the eye and asks with the seriousness of a nuclear scientist, “Do you have a penis or a vagina?”
But I digress.
Part-time Murderer
We landed in Denver. I got off the plane, rented my car and headed out to meet up with Ed, the part-time vintage camper renovator/part-time murderer. I drove straight to the storage facility (also, as it turns out, not a very good place to be carrying $5,000 in cash.)
I huddled in the corner of the office wondering which way I was going to die when the camper came into view. As Ed emerged from his tinted windowed black pick up truck I noticed he was wearing flip-flops. I sighed with relief. Everyone knows killers don’t wear flip-flops.
He gave me a quick tour of my new camper. I said it was deal and rushed him through the paperwork.
“What’s the big hurry?” he asked.
“I have a flight back to Kansas City in a couple of hours.”
“Wow.” He looked at me with admiration. “You’re an adventurer.”
I grinned and stood up a little straighter and said “Yes. That’s exactly who I am now. I’m an Adventurer.”
Me and Ed-Not-A-Part-Time-Murderer
CRAZIE TOWN 
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I am so darn jealous of you!!! I want to join this Club!!
This Sisters on the Fly group sound like just our kind of crazie women. I’ll invite you along for a campout and we’ll see what kind of trouble we can get into.
I wanna see the camper!
Well, so do I. Having some trouble getting it back from Denver. But, I’m trying to trust the Universe to have it arrive when it is supposed to!
Dear Adventurer, I am so proud of you and I am looking forward to more Crazie Town adventures with you.
Queen of Sheba
Dear Q.O.S.,
I understand you have jumped on the crazie camper bandwagon. Congratulations!
Why am I always compelled to confess solidarity with your crazy hijinks? I NEVER remember to wear socks when I go through airport security except of course in winter when I’m wearing them anyway. AND I am a real fan of vintage campers. Take me with you!
I’m not sure “who” this is – but you’re welcome to come along on the vintage camping trip anyway!
I just got an e-mail from your psychiatrist, mayor. He says you’ve cancelled all of your appointments. (He was speaking in deep confidential tones, I assure you.) He wanted to know if I noticed anything strange about you recently. I think I was correct in my assessment when I said “no.”
But…you might call him before your next flight.
DZ. Thanks for the vote of confidence but I’m afraid your assessment is incorrect. I’m as crazie as a loon!
wheeeeeee! lots of adventures ahead!
And a few with you along for the ride!
Now, start getting some camper advertiser and get these women to sign up for your blog.
You’re hired. MJ Yellow Dog – Marketing Director.