I have had some wonderful travel experience over the years, but who wants to hear about those? So, here’s a few of my most memorable for the wrong reasons.
Neckties: I had the opportunity to travel with my husband on a business trip to Taiwan. Every day we walked 10 yards from the hotel to a waiting bus, then 10 yards from the bus to a government building and returned late at night to be escorted the 10 yards from the bus to the hotel. I was never sure if we were guests or prisoners. I hear it is a beautiful country and, hey, I’ll never forget those great bus drivers.
Nausea: We took a cruise once to…Good Lord I don’t even know where we went because I spent the entire cruise inside our cabin puking my guts out.
“Whoa! Did you feel that?” I grabbed my husband’s arm as my knees buckled.
Things went downhill quickly after that. Yes, I did take Dramamine but, being the delicate flower that I am, I contracted a rare side effect of diplopia so even when I was able to stand up I got nauseous from double vision.
There’s a reason God placed me smack dab in the middle of a giant continent. I plan to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground from now on, thank you very much.
Nudists: After the all-inclusive cruise didn’t work out we tried the all-inclusive resort. We traveled to Jamaica where our hotel’s front desk clerk informed us we’d be staying on the clothing-optional side of the resort. No problem for someone as flexible as me, right? Okay, I did stop and pick up a dozen towels along the way to our room. No way was I going to sit on any of that furniture. Who knows how many bare butts had been there first!
They showed us to our room and I stepped out on the balcony. There was a beautiful view of the beach, which was covered in naked people of all shapes and sizes. At that very moment the heavens opened up and it began to rain – which caused all the naked people of every shape and size – to run for their rooms.
There were body parts jumping and bumping in every direction. “Ack! My eyes! My eyes!” I screamed.
I fell back on the couch which I had not yet draped in towels. I leapt up and ran to the bathroom to scrub myself from head to toe.
I’ll bet you wish you could travel with me sometime, right?
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I must share with you and Bob and Maril our experience of the clothing-optional pool at 10,000 Waves spa in Santa Fe during our recent vacation.
For starters, Dennis and i were at least a hundred pounds heavier than any of the other bathers and way, way more out of condition. This immediately opens the way for hilarity. In additon my bad knee made it impossible for me to climb out of the tub without a ‘helping hand’ from Dennis. Luckily no one misinterpreted the gesture as inappropriate. Lastly, the dragon tatoo which decorates my abdomen has, in Dennis’ words, spread, and waxed somewhat fuzzy. It is, after all, forty years old.The bathers at the spa were most gracious, however. Not a single one even smiled behind their hand.
I’m cracking up over the description of Dennis “assisting” you out of the tub. Thanks for sharing!
I’m sorry for your bad experiences but the naked people cracked me up. If you think about it God did have you come into the world naked ha ha.
Ha! Naked people always make me laugh too.
I must confess — I once spent a weekend at a clothing optional resort, It was kind of a miserable experience because they had strict rules about where and when you could actually be nude. For instance, you could dine in the nude at the restaurant, but you couldn’t dance in the nude (most people wore what looked like sexy lingerie on the dance floor). You could play tennis in the nude but when I showed up for the yoga class, everyone but me was wearing a leotard. On the other hand if you were in the pool area you were REQUIRED to be nude. I will say that they advised everyone to carry a towel with them at all times — and use it when sitting down! I decided it was a lot easier to wear clothes….
Okay, now that’s just weird! Tennis yes, but yoga no? And, nude in the restaurant???? I just threw up a little in my mouth.
I would love to travel with you sometime just to see you in action. We would, of course, have to stay in separate rooms in case I needed to rest from the excitement.
I’m particularly fond of nude volleyball games which the human body was not invented to participate in with any degree of athleticism.
You and I out in the world, that is a dangerous combination!
You should try going to Afghanistan next time!
Thought we might have an opportunity to go to Saudi Arabia but found out no women were allowed. Guess they’re safe from a visit from me.