Tag Archives: mid life crisis

I’m a Grown Ass Woman

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Yes.  It’s another trailer story.  Hang in there with me a little longer and I promise, the excitement will change to some other Crazie subject.

What’s happened so far:

  1. Contracted a severe case of Mid Life Crisis-itis.
  2. Became obsessed with finding a Canned Ham (vintage camper).
  3. In one day’s time, flew to Denver – purchased camper – tucked it into a storage facility – flew home.
  4. Spent several days trying to figure out how in the heck I was going to get the thing from Denver to Kansas City, finally deciding to pay an anonymous man named Kevin to bring it to me.
  5. Anonymous Kevin has since had more truck trouble than the Detroit car companies, so my little 1955 Aljoa is somewhere in Frontier, CO.

I recently began a campaign to rescue my Aljoa by calling every friend and relative I could think of to drive out with me and pick it up.  Although many, MANY people offered to help, the timing was never quite right.

One night, while I was whining to my friend, Mary, she said, “You’re a grown ass woman.  Get in your car and drive over there to get it yourself!”

I hung up the phone and paced around the house.  You know what? I thought, I am a grown ass woman.  I can drive 1,000+ miles by myself, towing an unfamiliar 2,400 pound object behind my car.  I went to sleep, confident in my ability to accomplish anything.

Then I woke up the next morning and thought, You know what?  I am a grown ass woman!  A grown ass woman who’s smart enough to figure out she doesn’t want to drive 1,000+ miles by herself, towing an unfamiliar 2,400 pound object behind her car.  

So, it’s back to trusting Anonymous Kevin, who promises to deliver the little Aljoa to me FOR FREE, because I’ve been such a sweet little patient angel.

Of course, if it’s not sitting in my driveway when I get back from out of town, I’m driving out to Frontier to put some serious whoop-ass on Anonymous Kevin.

The Trailer God is Angry

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I HATE your trailer!

Last week I shared that, in the grips of a mid-life crisis, I hopped on a plane, flew to Denver and bought a camper.

And then, since I hadn’t exactly thought things through, I couldn’t figure out how to get it back to Kansas City.  I called a rental car company and asked if they had cars that would tow a camper.

“Yes and No,” he said.  “Our cars can tow a camper, you’re just now allowed to.”

I called U-Haul.

“Yes, we have pick-up trucks that you’re allowed to tow with,” he said.

“Great! I’ll take one of those.”

We started on the paperwork but only made it to the part where I’d be driving to Kansas City with it.

“Oh.  You’re not allowed to drive the pick-up trucks out of state,” he said.  “But, we can rent one of our moving vans.”

Arg!  I got on a plane and flew home spending the next few days trying to find some sucker friend to drive back out with me and pick up the camper.  I actually had a few volunteers for this boondoggle when my younger brother suggested I try that company from the show Shipping Wars.

This was several zip codes outside of my comfort zone, but once I’d purchased the camper I’d become a Wild Woman so thought, What the heck?  I’ll give it a try.

The first bid was $677 and I watched happily as the bids dropped in price.  That is until they hit the $400 range.  How could anybody drive a trailer 500+ miles and then return home for that price? I picked a transport “company” named B&K.  I talked to a nice young man named Kevin who promised he’d pick up the camper the next morning and get on the road.  I’d have my little mid-life crisis award within 24 hours.

Only, somewhere along the line I angered the Trailer God.  Maybe it was my description of the trailer.

When I told people I bought a camper, their eyes lit up they asked “You mean one of those shiny Airstream kinds?”

And I’d answer, “No, it’s more like the pimply-faced second cousin of the Airstream – an Aljoa.”

Whatever the cause of his displeasure The Trailer God sent his lightening bolt down to strike the trip.  Kevin emailed me to say his fuel pump went out but he’d have it repaired in a few hours and be on his way.  The next email informed me that it was a little bigger problem than a fuel pump and he’d have to wait for part and it would be 5-6 days before he could get on the road.

I called the brother who’d suggested the U-Ship-It place and he said with kindness and concern.  “I’m sure it will all be fine.”

I WISH that’s what he’d said.  His actual reply was. “Oh, man. You’ll never see that trailer again.  It’s a traveling meth lab by now.”

So, if any of you know anyone who buys meth – could you ask them to keep an eye out for my little Aljoa?  I wish I could tell you it looks like this.

MY IMAGINARY CAMPER

But it actually looks like this (which makes a much better mobile meth lab.)

MY ACTUAL 1955 ALJOA CAMPER