Tag Archives: Travel Tribulations

Patience is a Virtue – Just Not One of Mine

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No resemblance to me whatsoever.

Patience:   Creating a sense of peaceful stability and community rather than suffering, hostility and antagonism.

“Do you have a reservation?” The airport parking lot attendant asked me.

“No,” I said rubbing the face of my watch, hoping to erase a few minutes.  “I don’t have a reservation.”

“Well.  You’ll have to do valet.”

I cringed at the thought of how much that would cost me but, looking at my watch again, I realized I was out of options if I was going to make my flight.  (Actually, if I was going to be an hour early for my flight – which I have to be, because I’m a freak.)

I pulled over into the Valet lane and got out of my car.  While I tapped my foot impatiently, a conversation waged in my head.  If this is going to cost twice as much as regular parking I should at least be getting special service.

And then I waited and waited and waited.     —  I’m going to pay three times as much for Valet and waiting longer, that doesn’t make sense.

I got back in my car to check the time stamp on my ticket against the current time so I could be justified in my impatience.  Valet’s going to cost me more than my flight did!  Man, they’re going to get a piece of my mind. 

The bus finally arrived and I stomped on and then slumped into my seat.  If I’d been a cartoon character, the other passengers would have seen smoke coming out of my ears.  I made it off the bus without murdering anyone, but stewed and fretted about it the whole trip.

My return flight landed at 10 pm and by the time I got my luggage and climbed on the parking bus I was tired and cranky.  But, as we pulled into the parking lot, I brightened.  After all,  I was a VIP Valet Parker, I’d be the first one off the bus.  Oh yes, all that money I was paying would be well worth it.  Hee hee.

He stopped and let someone else off first.   “Excuse me,” I politely said.  “I’m a valet parker.”  I smiled condencendingly at the rest of the bus.

“Yes, I know,” the driver said.

Striking resemblance to Grandmother Nellie

He then promptly let the next person off…and the next…and the next.  With each departing passenger my impatient, self-righteous indignation grew.

Finally, I was the last one off the bus — but before I snatched my keys from his hand, I asked in my haughtiest Grandmother Nellie voice, “Just exactly what are the special services that come with paying extra for valet?  Because I certainly haven’t experienced any!”

“Ma’am.”  He sighed.  “You’re not paying for valet.”

“But, but…” I sputtered pointing at the keys to my car that he held in his hand.

“We don’t even have valet service.  We just parked your car for you as a favor.  It’s the same price as everywhere else.”

So, cross off Patience from my list of virtues.  Obviously, we can also remove Chastity and may as well erase Humility.  I’m still hanging on by a thread to Charity, Kindness and Temperance.  But I’m keeping Diligent – because no one is more diligent then I am when it comes to impatience.

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Speaking of impatience – I’m not sure how much longer I can wait for you to subscribe before I go all Grandmother Nellie on you.

Of Mice and Friends.

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Too Late for Sorry

There’s nothing like a couple of close friends to smack you down off your high horse.

Kerry, Bob and I were sitting around, sharing our dislike of household pests.  Kerry and I agreed that spiders are evil incarnate and deserve all of our screeching and terror.  Over the years I’ve mellowed enough to understand they have just as much right to the world as I do, they just don’t have a right to cross my threshold.

I don’t have a particular problem with mice.  Growing up on a farm we had our fair share of them.  I learned to enter the kitchen at night by first stomping my feet loudly and then turning on the light.  Occasionally I’d see a little shadow darting away but I never climbed up on a table screaming in terror.

I’ve even had some close encounters with a snake or two.  We once found one snoozing comfortably behind the encyclopedias in the bookcase.  And, in fact, the other day I stopped my car in the road so a snake could safely travel to the other side.

And then, Kerry attempted to top my stories of Earth Mother by telling us that her Zen-like husband had recently corralled a spider the size of a toaster that was living inside the drain of their bathroom sink.  He carefully carried it to the window and released it outside.

Not to be outdone in the Zen-like story department, I shared the following anecdote.

A few years ago my younger brother, Larry, and I rented a vacation home together.  As we sat at the table eating breakfast, a disturbing rustling sound came from under the sink.  We tiptoed over and with a long wooden spoon opened the cabinet door.  There we saw a very live mouse fighting to free his feet from a sticky trap.

“Poor thing.  He’ll starve to death,” I said.   We stood staring at the struggling creature and then I said, “We’ll have to drown him.”

I continued sharing my heroic story with my friends by explaining that we got a trash can and filled it with water and then picked up the little mouse and dropped him in. Unfortunately he landed in such a way that the sticky trap acted like a raft and he bobbed around on top of the water while Larry and I squealed stood quietly assessing the situation.  “We’re going to have to hold him under water,” I said.  And we did.

This is where I looked around the room expecting praise from my friends for my strength of character to put this poor little mouse out of its misery.  Instead they shouted their horror at my cruel behavior.  “But, what would you have done?” I asked.

“Step on him,” Bob said.

Step on him?  How is that better than drowning him?

“Peel him off the sticky trap,” Kerry suggested.

The whole point of the sticky trap is that you can’t peel them off.  I guess I could have cut the trap up, leaving little flip-flops for his feet, but unfortunately I didn’t think of that at the time.

So, here I sit.  Ready for your judgment.  Hero or Villain?  You decide.

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If you liked this post – help me out and click SHARE  Otherwise, Kerry and Bob might, like George did Lennie, put me out of my misery.