Category Archives: Writing/Chicken Scratches

Hurts So Good

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I’ve had my head bent over my computer for…well, for way too long now, trying to get to the end of my novel.  YIPEE! – –  I got to the end.  CRAP! – – now I’m back at the beginning.

All WTF Critique group members agree – the story doesn’t open in the right place.  I’m starting to think this writer’s gig is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Because I’ve barely left my computer lately, I haven’t been out in the world enough to add a new Crazie Town event so I’m doing the next best thing…posting an excerpt from my book – Also named Crazie Town.  Just in case you’re getting confused, my blog is true, my book is not — mostly not — okay, it mostly is.

Here’s a true event that I included in the book.  My dad (Max Grosskopf in this story) slipped and fell at his farm.  I (Genny in this story) managed to push, pull and prod his large body into my car and drive him to the emergency room.

A woman in a white lab coat walked into the room carrying Max’s X-ray.  She slid it into the slot on the light box and flipped the switch.

“It looks like a broken ankle to me,” she said.

“Really?  Are you sure?” Max asked.  “Maybe we should wait to hear what the doctor says.”

“Mr. Grosskopf, I am your doctor.  I’m Dr. Morris.”

Max sat back in the wheelchair and stuck his hands out in front of him. “Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.  No one ever asked me if I wanted a girl doctor.”

“What?”

“I’m just saying, they should have you fill out a form or something saying you agree to be treated by a girl doctor.”

Genny thumped her head with her palm.

Dr. Morris frowned and through clenched teeth said “I’m the only doctor available right now, Mr. Grosskopf, and even though I’m only a girl, I’m sure I can manage to put a cast on your little broken ankle.”

“Is this going to hurt?” Max asked.

“Certainly more than it needs to,” Dr. Morris said and walked out of the room.

Tick*Nick*Al Difficulties

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A year ago I would not have been able to tell you the difference between a Tweet and a Twat.  Actually, I still couldn’t tell you what a Twat is.  Oh dear, I just looked it up… so….anyway…..

My mom had a great saying about forgetting things when you travel.  “If I have my credit card and a tube of lipstick I can go anywhere.”  Which has been true for me for years.  I have now amended that to credit card, lipstick, and IPhone.

I’m in New York for a visit and just “knew” that at some point I’d whip out my IPhone at a funky coffee shop and dash off my blog.  Except I had a wifi breakdown.  I’m one of those people who know what my phone should be able to do, I just don’t know how to make it do it.  So, no blog on Sunday like I planned, sorry about that.

I’m having a wonderful time here but, really…what’s with all the walking people?  I get in my car to drive from one side of a parking lot to another, so watching my nephew and his wife bring four little girls from their home in Queens to Manhattan on the subway was, for me, like watching an astronaut walk on the moon.  I was mesmerized, but I certainly wouldn’t want to do it.

I’m sitting in the kitchen of my brother’s Manhattan apartment (don’t’ get excited, it’s the size of a postage stamp) where we’ll be leaving shortly so he can go to rehearsals for a show he’s working on.  I plan to shop at some sort of discount store called Daffy’s (love the name) and then we’re taking the subway to Brooklyn to watch another brother film an episode of Person of Interest.  After that, we’ll walk around the “hipster” part of town and have a late dinner.  I mean, late for a midwesterner.  The way I figure it, we’ll be eating dinner about the time I’d normally be falling into my deep REM sleep.

One day soon, I will figure out how to post to this blog from my IPhone, and then I’ll figure out how to Tweet and then I’ll figure out how to finish my novel and then I’ll be rich.  Or I’ll be a twat (I’m talking about the person who’s stupid definition, not the vulgar slang for a woman’s genitals kind of person)